On Saturday night, as I wrapped things up with my sermon, I prayed a couple of times that I’d come down with something by Sunday morning.
Sincerely prayed that.
Didn’t happen though.
Maybe you haven’t noticed, but I have a real tough time speeching. And it’s not because “nothing’s happening” either. In fact, more than ever, I believe that God is in it – that despite all its limitations, God’s still choosing to work through the monologue. Go figure. But the thing that’s getting to me is that every time I preapare to speak it feels like I’m doing open heart surgery on myself.
“Behold I do not give lectures or a little charity, When I give I give myself.”
~ Walt Whitman ~
Heavy stuff. Good for me. Good for them. But, boy, is it exhausting… (spent all Sunday afternoon on the couch with friends watching football… oh, and personally, I too think Belichick made the right call).
BTW, Here’s the talk:
Read away:
- Recap: Calgary 14, Saskatchewan 30. Unbelievable. Watch the highlights and just listen to the fans (keep your ears open for Dad and his duck caller). Really loving listening to Grandpa Ken Miller in the post-game interviews lately – success based coaching that’s founded on respect and humility.
- How about those Bombers?!? I don’t want to rub it in Mike, but I almost laughed ’til I cried when I saw the Ticats hop in that boat for the second time in just as many minutes.
- This year Kim and I will be attending our first Grey Cup weekend (with my parents!). If the Rider boys win in two weeks time, I think I’m going to have to take a week of sick leave from work – pre-Grey Cup. There’s just no way I’ll be able to concentrate on anything else those days… it’s a medical condition.
- Also, some exciting news in the local football scene: I’m going to be head coaching next year! I’m a little nervous about the change, but I think I’ll be just fine once the season is up and running.
First week of November’s here – and, yep, that means it’s prayer retreat time. Once again, it’s good to be in Banff – amazing weather, good friends, mid-twenties servers who look like Freddie Mercury… just lovely. But this year, the joy is a little bit dampened – simply because while I’m here, taking it all in, my buddy’s back home in Westlock doing her LPN practicum – probably elbow deep in someone’s pancreas… lucky girl.
Not many people know this about me (at least I assume they don’t), but being alone in public is quite the traumatic experience for me. Shopping, walking, eating – I just feel so out of place when I’m doing it by myself. It’s a week like this that reminds me of how hopelessly codependant I am.
Especially the eating. I like to think that I’d be almost ok if I had a corner by myself, but having to sit (and converse!) with other people I don’t know (and not just “people”, but “pastors”… and their wives!!!) – it’s scary stuff. Thankflly though, I’ve still got a few kindred spirits kicking around in Alberta churches . And even more thankfully, Kimberly took the time to do some pre-emptive social networking for me – so I’ve had quite a bit of good company and conversations.
This year has been quite different than previous ones though – in respect to my level of involvement. Usually, I’m a stickler for attending any and every session that’s put on (aside from the singing… just can’t handle the singing), but this year I’ve been taking a break from the majority of it. I’ve been visiting with friends, reading “Microserfs” at Starbucks (which is just one block away from my hotel… could really get used to that), walking, praying, and breathing – lots of breathing. I just felt the need to check out of all the alliance movement hubbub – and take a real retreat. No strategic plans, success stories, promo-videos, or you-tube clips… and it’s been wonderful. On the one hand, though, I know that I’m gifted to think and work on that level – but on the other, I’m not sure if I really feel like expending my time/heart/energy on that cause anymore (The Alliance Movement). I Love God. I’m committed to the global church. I love the people who have been given to me, and to whom I have been given. And I’m committed to those people and things… but I’m just not feeling convicted to invest myself in the movement these days (and in fact, I’d say that, at times, I’m feeling convicted to do quite the oppostie: withdraw).
But, who knows.
Maybe tomorrow will bring a 180.
That seems to be the nature of my work these days.
Also, thanks to everyone who sent out music suggestions in the last post. I really appreciate that you take the time to interact with me whenever I put up a post here. So far I’ve, only bought a few albums – most of which I had been eyeing up for a while – but I promise that I’ll give each of your suggestions a listen in the next couple weeks.
Read Away:
- Just got $150(!!!) in iTunes gift cards. I’ve only bought two albums in the last two years (Ryan Adams Cardinology and Joel Plaskett’s Three). What have I been missing? Help me spend it! Please!!!
- TBrids football is on a roll! After beating Vegreville 33-2, we took Sedgewick down 47-0 and then Lac La Biche 15-14 (you can read about the game here… there’s even a little bit of name dropping.) This Saturday we’re in Bonnyville for round three of the consolation-side playoffs. Man, this is fun!
- Also, speaking of football fun… my post-game dance celebration could have easily won me a spot of SYTYCD Canada.
- I firmly believe that the harmonica is the best instrument in the world… but, somehow, this is still quite possibly the worst song I’ve ever had to sit through (I was laughing so hard at the dinner theatre that I started crying… I swear, their version was over 10 minutes long… so painful).
- There’s a lot of confusion in my work life, but I’ve found a great grounding lately in my prayers. (A really good read: In Constant Prayer).
- Winterized my bike last Saturday… so sad.
- I know there was more I wanted convey here, but I can’t seem to remember what it was… I guess that’s what happens when you only blog once every three weeks.
It’s a win, folks!
Go T-Birds!
Read Away:
Books:
- Finished “The Monkey and the Fish” yesterday. Really, not that good. I’m sure he’s a great and godly guy who’s latched on to some important things that have revolutionized ministry for him – and I assume his desire in writing a book was to convey these ideas and help other people – but, honestly, I didn’t get much out of the book. Maybe I’ve just been spoiled by some great authors recently – but I just found myself fighting to finish this one off. My main issue was that it just wasn’t structured well. Note to future Jon: Just because you may have a good idea, it doesn’t necessarily mean you need to write a book about it. In most cases, a short blog post will suffice.
- Currently reading: Nudge and Microserfs. Both are pretty good for me so far.
Football:
- The T-Birds are now at 1-4 after our loss up in Lac La Biche last Friday. Going to try a few new things in the weeks ahead to get the offence producing. Not this week though… today’s practice is cancelled and gameday is a day earlier than usual: Thursday… yikes!
- After the high-school game on Friday, I got home at 10:30 – just in time to watch the Riders sturggle through the second-half of their football game against the Lions… what an awful day.
- The only football upside this weekend? Watching MNF… don’t tell Ben, but I caught myself cheering on Favre and the Vikings… and I enjoyed it.
Basement Renos:
- Thought about working down there… and thinking’s half the battle… right?
Exercise:
- Started in on a Couch to 5k program 2 weeks ago. I hate running… but not as much as I hate feeling lethargic and terrible… so far.
Motorcycling:
- Almost time to winterize the bike. I changed the oil a couple weeks ago now, but I’m still finding it’s bearable to go out and ride from time to time. I’m hoping for one or two more rides before I pack it in for the winter.
Social Networking:
- Anyone else ever feel an overwhelming sense of frustration regarding their inability to do justice to all the different relationships in their life? I’m not the busiest person around, but I can’t ever seem to find enough time to do connect with the people I want to, in meaningful ways.
